SOUL MATES, ENERGETIC TIES. LOVE OR A WOUND
I spent 3 years in and out of a spider web toxic relationship with someone I ‘loved’. I never experienced someones presence like his. The connection I felt was an indescribable, magnetic tie. Though he never directly hurt me physically, his emotional and mental abuse was enough to destroy me. I never owned how hurt I was feeling (I HAD A MASSIVE BLOCK IN MY THROAT CHAKRA FOR YEARS!). I stayed in pure hope that I could change him – that I could guide him to light. Just like many empaths, we feel the desire to nurture, care and love someone. However, I didn’t see that I was being totally destroyed by it. You cannot change them – especially when you are being hurt at the same time. This is THEIR JOURNEY, NOT YOURS. At the time, my mind/ego convinced myself that what he was doing was not in fact bad and it was just because he was hurt. Although I was correct, he was/is just a deeply hurt human whose ego is out of control to protect him and his pain, this doesn’t mean I deserved to be dragged into his pain. I moved onto another relationship to purely numb the pain, although my new relationship was beautiful, I again couldn’t deny the massive PULL to my previous ’love’. I couldn’t deny this endless magnetic connection we shared. I knew that it wasn’t necessarily love, however we were energetically tied. Through a healing, we entered a past life regression which was totally unexpected. I drifted back into a past life in Egypt with him. It was confirmed we were/are connected by soul. I soon realized we experienced many more life times together. The past life I experienced was in Egypt – we were poor, we were slaves and he sold my baby for money. I embodied the deep, dark pain of that loss all over again. I can safely say that; that feeling of loss, was the most horrific pain I had ever embodied.
I feel the importance of sharing this raw, real story of my past. To reassure YOU too that maybe the magnetic connection you are also feeling, is also real. However this does not mean your supposed to be together because your connected by soul.
This means that he/she is your SOUL TEACHER. I had to cut the tie, otherwise I would enter every life with the same lessons with him. He has been present to teach me, to SIMPLY LOVE MYSELF, open my throat chakra and heal my child hood wound with men. Choose me over him and choose me over ANYONE. When we ended for good, I instantly attracted in another lost, egoistic man. I saw this immediately & cut it short and decided to face my wounds around men. Otherwise I would continue to attract in the wrong pain AGAIN AND AGAIN. I went onto a deep healing journey to the core to heal my wounds with men. I realized that I was always searching for a connection with others through sex and meaningless relationships because I never felt a connection with men as a child. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to attract the right love until I dived into the core and started healing my inner child. I now live in celebration of releasing and healing. I chose to choose ME, to heal ME, to love ME, so I could blossom into who I am truly meant to be. It FEELS SO GOOD. I do not blame him, I do not blame anyone. I am responsible for what pain I attracted in and I am more than thankful for the lessons for it lead me to who I am now.
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